Forgiving myself

Jesus, take my life. It isn't made for my pleasure, but to glorify Your name. You have called me out of the life I used to live and into a life of forgiveness, rightousness, and faithfulness. You have placed the path of my life to bring love, joy, peace, and Your name to all the nations. You have called me, of all people, to places I have only dreamed of going. I am leaving the comforts of my home and going to the land God has given me. I want to be used by you Father. I don't want my own personal desires to get in the way of your work. Father use me. In your name, amen.

This prayer has been on my heart the last two weeks. I have been stuggling with the fact that God wants to use me. I still look at myself and see this girl who ran from God and didn't want anything to do with Him. I often ask myself why He would want me even though I treated Him like dirt. I don't understand why He loves me so much. I look in the mirror and I only see a useless, undeserving, worthless, ugly girl. I want God to use me but I don't feel redeemed yet. I know He has forgiven me but I am working on forgiving myself. I think that's just as important as asking for forgivness from Him.

Father, this is my new prayer. I pray that I am able to see myself through Your eyes. I pray that I can see the beautiful woman You have made me so far. I pray that when I look in the mirror I don't see an ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman. I pray I don't see a worthless girl. I see someone worth fighting for. I pray I don't see an undeserving girl. I see a deserving daughter. I pray I don't see a useless girl. I see a girl who can be used in MIGHTY ways through You. I want to see myself through Your eyes. Help me to forgive myself so I can move on and see things in a new perspective. Lord, I pray this in Your name, amen.