One night, over Christmas break, I was sitting in my bed. That day was full of worry and doubt, mainly about things that I thought God was too big to handle. I remember telling Him that what I was worrying about were small and insignificant to Him. Then I remembered what I had been hearing in my head all day. “I know the plans I have for you. I know the plans I have for you. I know the plans I have for you.” I memorized it growing up as a Christian but this time, it had more meaning to it than back then. I opened to this verse to read it out loud and I remember God coming into the room and just like someone would stand in your room, He was there. Telling me that He knew and knows the plans He has. It was like the whole world stopped and for a second I had no more worries. He had everything in His hands and that my worrying is something I needed to get rid of because it gets in the way of what He wants to do through me. Then peace flooded me. It was like I knew that I knew that I knew that He had made a way for those things to turn out good, for my sake. I have been repeating this to myself since that night, trying to keep my head up towards the Lord.
He is faithful. There is nothing I want more than to be wherever He takes me. I never want to disobey God because some stupid fear or worry I have. All I want to do is be in His will and to love and obey the one Who created me. I want my heart to be on fire and burn with an everlasting flame of His love and passion. I want more of God. Every day I search His heart for new things. I get rid of doubt, worry, and fear because in the Kingdom of God, nothing but love is allowed. That is the way I live my life. Wholeheartedly abandoned for the One Who gave it all for me.
Today, as I sit here once again in a coffee shop, looking over the past couple of months I say to myself, “my, have you grown.” I look back on that day like it was a long time ago but realizing it’s only been a month. I see a woman who put her selfish desires aside to run after something that seemed at the time, impossible. Yet now I stand and say that I am running with a dream that God has made possible. My dream as a little girl to go to Africa, has been answered, and more than once, in less than a year. I am overwhelmed by what I have seen God do since the beginning of this year. I understand now more than ever that the more I seek God and what He has for my life, the more I want to give my life back to Him as a sacrifice. His love has changed me. His Spirit has filled me. And His Word leads me.
I am so honored to be able to share this journey of finding love with you all. Love is what motivates me. I want to see God’s love transform the lives I come into contact with. I live for the purpose of loving those who have no love. I live to know God more. I live to love. Thank you for your prayers and support. No words can describe the way I feel. Keep updated with me as the trip gets closer and as I learn more of Jesus’ heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment