Outreach is hard. I'm not going to sugar coat anything. It is hard! I miss my friends & family. I miss Jax! I am getting annoyed with people. I feel like I am being challenged by students on decisions Misty and I make. Language barriers are overwhelming. Men look at American women like a piece of meat, that are loose. I feel violated and disrespected every time I go out without one of our guys. The Muslim women are so oppressed. I'm tired and weak. I want a cheeseburger. I want bacon! I want my mom.... Sometimes I want to give up and call it quits.
Then I remember one thing. Jesus loves me. He loves me. He loved me when I was away from Him. He loved me when I rejected Him. He loved me and was with me when I ran as far as I could from Him. He reminded me tonight that even though I may be struggling with stepping out and speaking to people, even though there seems to be no hope for these people He told me to look at myself a few years ago. He said "Ansley, don't you remember how hopeless you felt? Don't you know that, that same hopelessness you felt then, is what these people feel now?! Show them what you found. Show them how much I love them. Show them. Let them experience the freedom I have brought YOU!" .
I realized today that it's not all about me. It's not about how I feel, or what I should do. It's just about how God wants to use me. I need to be so sensitive to His voice and listening constantly for what He wants to do in people's lives. He has already brought me to this beautiful place but now I need to do my part. I need to TRUST Him! I need to believe that God is going to use and move through me. I need to show people the love and freedom I have found in my Jesus. He is so beautiful and captivating.
I do what I do so I can share the love of Christ to people. Not the love of Ansley! I am only a vessel for God to use me. So when I feel like I am useless then I need to stand up and respond in the opposite spirit. I am not useless. I am able. God is my strength. That is when freedom reigns. THAT IS WHEN LIVES ARE CHANGED FOREVER! God is here and moving in Tunisia. He is stirring people's hearts. Please pray that God gives them dreams and visions of Him. That is the biggest way Muslims encounter Jesus for the first time. That opens HUGE doors for us.
Guys, I am sorry for this being a soap box sometimes but this helps gets my feelings out. Writing it out helps me to rediscover what I did today and think and process through it. I hope you all enjoy the blogs. I will do them as often as I can. Don't forget to signup for them because that will help you keep up better if you want to.
Don't forget that Jesus loves you too! He is in the States as much as He is over here. Keep praying for the team and I. I love y'all like crazy!!!!
~Ans~
~Ans~
P.s. here is a picture of Misty and I over Malaga, Spain! :)
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